I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
