NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
