Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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