Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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