so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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