Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i will never coherently bang her
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
