she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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