I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
