I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
