So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
