At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
