uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize