What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i out mim tonsoeep
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