Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
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He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
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You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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