I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
