Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
