Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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