did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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