If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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