The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ketchup is God's man juice
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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