thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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