On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
