Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
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