To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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