He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
