I smell stomach acid.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
