theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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