On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
bring money and cleavage
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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