She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
