I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
