One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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