You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize