It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
