Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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