also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize