drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
