so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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