Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
