Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
