that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
