Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
