Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
