He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
