Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
