dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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