She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
