Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
