Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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