Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
