At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
