Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
