check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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