When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
