my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
