8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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