Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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