honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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