I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
