I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Pappa wants mamma naked
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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