Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
