To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
