Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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