last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
